A few up-dates

Well as always I am a bit behind… that is what happens being a single momma that works like crazy and in my free time I actually like to hang out with my little dude… and not just write about him… ha ha!

Well lets see…. Since it has been SO long since I last wrote… I really don’t remember what all I wrote! I know it has been a while… so I will just write and if I repeat… well oh well!

First, Grayson is still as always the love of my life and my pride and joy! He makes me smile when I REALLY need it as there has been a LOT of stress in my life as of recent… but that will come later! As always even when the kid is sick and is running a super high fever and throwing up he still smiles… so I am tryng to continue acting like him! It is an uphill battle that I am not winning right now… there has been on more than on occasion that I find myself in tears and I have no idea what I am doing… and at times it is even with Grayson…

I have never written about depression… or anything… and I don’t know if I would say that it is true depression that I fell is just being overwhelmed with emotion! As I have stated before I am single momma… I have an awesome supportive family that I would not be able to do anything without… but at times I feel like the black clouds are over and I have no idea what I am doing! Am I raising a child that will be well rounded? Was I wrong in doing this alone… am I wrong to think that I can handle this without a man? With the delay in Grayson’s communication skills I wonder if it is my fault… because it is just me an him at night at home am I not talking enough thus he doesn’t get enough verbal stimulation… he doesn’t know where anything is on his body except his eyes and I think that is just a lucky guess… he doesn’t know how to count… or his A,B,C’s… have I put the wrong things at the front burner… is it my fault… is it cause I get him up at the butt-crack of dawn to go to work… then once we are home it is a few minutes of play… then dinner… which am I feeding him too much… not enough… I don’t know… then it is bath time… and bed… am I a failure? Yes my child can walk, and crawl, and jump, and clap, and LOVES to dance! He is the happiest kid when his momma is around… but am I failing him that he is delayed?!? I know, you should not judge a kid based on what other kids his age is doing… and I really try not to… BUT when he is 16 months and STILL will not wave and a 7 month old is waving to him goodbye… there is something wrong with that! Yes he is the strong silent type, he is not a push monkey that you can FORCE him to do something… he will not do it… he is hard-headed just like his momma… and is that a bad thing?

Oh I know everything happens in time… you can’t force them to do what they don’t want to! BUT I wish he, and when he starts to back talk me I know I will be kicking myself for forcing and wishing he would hurry and talk… BUT it would be nice if he could communicate better so I knew what was going on… and what he was feeling…

Well I started to write this during my lunch break… and this afternoon I ended up taking Grayson to the doctor… so he could get his booster for the Swine Flu… and since I have to pay a co-pay if I just get the shot… or if the doctor checks him out… I went ahead and had the doctor do a once over and make sure all was well health wise AND to talk about my concerns about the speech delays… SO he is having asthma issues… which I knew would happen cause of the crazy weather… cold in the morning hot during the day and cold at night… it does even get to me… but his lungs are clear… so we are just gonna up his “rescue “ meds for a few days and get him over the worst of it… and hope that the weather makes up its mind… ha ha… we do live in Texas… he is having an eczema outbreak on his back… could be caused by anything… but I got some cream for it… his ears are clear… thank you Lord… and we got the flu booster! Also, I stated my concerns and he looked back at his and some of the other pediatricians in the groups notes from the last year… since it is a group and I have seen them all at different times and he agreed that it is cause for “some” concern, nothing that is an emergency BUT something worth looking into, BUT could be nothing… SO we are now waiting for the insurance company to give a referral for him to be have a developmental testing done… and a hearing test… the developmental testing is what I was hoping would be done JUST cause I am hoping to have my mind put at ease and for them to tell me all was good with him… or so that we can start getting the help that he needs… and the hearing test is just as a precaution, Dr R wanted to make sure that the reason that he stopped talking is not cause he is having hearing issues… since he has had ear issues… it is more of a precaution than something he really worries about!

I think the main reason I am concerned about Grayson and his speech is just the fact that I had speech issues, and still have some now! I was lucky that my elementary school had an excellent speech therapist… but I think if the state had the programs that they have now… I would have been better off… but oh well… so now I know about the different programs and I want to be ahead of the game… and so we are now getting Grayson tested just to be on the SaFe side of things! I just don’t want Grayson to have any disadvantages in life if I can help it!

Well as I said before Grayson is getting bigger… he is now in 18-24 month pants and 24m-2t shirts! He also finally has started to gain weight… thank God! He now weighs 25 lbs and 5oz… woohoo… I thought the boy had hollow legs… thankfully he finally he gaining weight… I know I don’t want him to be over weight… but when he dropped from the 75^th percentile to the 25^th percentile in 4 months made me a little worried… not the doctors… cause he is still on the charts and he is healthy… but I always worried if he was eating enough… drinking enough… whatever… yes I still worry… I think I will always… even when he is a teenager and eating me out of house and home… I want him to be happy and healthy! Is that too much to ask for?

Lets see what else… his new party trick is he climbs on anything and everything… he is into EVERYTHING he should not… he can finally drink out of a straw… he loves to color… my little artist… and play with legos… he also LOVES to dance… it is so funny we will be out shopping and if he hears a song that I sing and he enjoys… he will raise his hands up and start to dance… it is the cutest thing… sometimes we draw a crowd… but it is still REALLY cute!

Lets see what else… well… Im too tired… I will load some pics… so enjoy…

Crafty weekend...

Ok... I have been trying to be crafty for a while... and even though these pics didn't turn out as well as I would have liked... I think they show enough...

I have been working on tutus and bows for a while for my niece... now I am gonna try to attempt to sell them... if I can find anyone that wants to buy them...

I wish I had a little girl... cause I love doing these little crafty things... I wish I had more time to do it... but eventually I will... please enjoy these pics!!!

I will up-load pics of the boy tomorrow and give a better update!!!

Life and Trials...

Well so so many things to talk about... lets see if there will be enough time... I hope to post pics... but don't know if that will happen...

First life is more crazy by the minute... we have been going 100 miles an hour... with little end in site at times!!! First Grayson has had an on and off again cold the last few weeks... I know what's new on that... well nothing... it just calls for some long nights... and lots of snuggling!!!

Well as before... we are back on call for work... not as bad as last month when it was 9 days... this time it is only 5 days... but once again... Grayson is sick... I swear the kid doesn't want me to be on-call... every time he ends up sick I swear!!! I am hoping that tonight is gonna be a better night... so fingers crossed... momma is pretty pooped waking up at 130 and working all day... and then back on-call for the night... blah... but so far he has been able to keep everything down for the day... so here is to hoping!!!

Well after 15 months... and lots of heart ache... today was a big step for us... Grayson had his last bottle of breast milk... my freezer stash is officially gone!!! I am SO sad...I mean Grayson still nurses when we are at home... and at times I wonder how much longer... I just don't know if he is still getting enough from me... but he enjoys it so much and when I do tell him no... he gets very angry... so looks like we still have a while on breast feeding... but at school he gets 2 glasses of soy milk (thank you lactose intollerance)... and when he is home he nurses!!! I am sad that today was his last bottle... but also excited cause he is getting older and more independent!!! I am SO glad that we were able to make it this long... I knew it was something that I wanted desperately to do... and from the time that we started... I was nervous and scared that it wouldn't work... and I knew I wanted to make it a year... and when I went back to work it was VERY hard... and then when I was told I had to quit pumping after 3 months back at work it was the hardest task I have ever succeed at... that one I was able to keep my supply up enough to feed my child and was lucky enough to have a great start of a stash that when things started to get hard and I stopped pumping at 8 months... cause I just didn't have the time or energy... I knew that it was in God's control! I was lucky that my mom was very hard headed when the hurricane hit and I almost lost my huge freezer full of milk that she was willing to go and wait 2 hrs for a generator... just to save my milk!!! Now when we had a power outage and the freezer was tripped and I lost a good 500 oz of milk right after I had decided to quit pumping... I was heart broken... but decided that what was meant to be would be and I knew that I would continue to breast feed as long as possible and if needed I did still have my pump so I could always go back to pumping if needed to make it to the first year...but well as I said before... we made it 15 months... almost 16 months... so I think we have done well!!!

I know I have said before and I will say it over and over again... and sorry that I am SO off what I started this post for... but I will just be on this soap box a little while longer...

Breast feeding was something that everyone says come naturally... and is the best thing for a child... and for the mother!!! Well after seeing my sister struggle with both of her kids to try to breast feed... I knew it was something that I wanted to do... and I was going to do everything possible... but if it didn't work then I knew formula was always an option... and kids still grow big and strong and smart as can be on it!!! I went to every class possible to learn to breast feed... I met with the lactation consultant 3 times while in the hospital and Grayson in the NICU... I went to the local La Leche League meeting the following week and got a lot of really useful information from those ladies... and I ended up joining a new mommy group... that was women that had kids within 2 months or so of Grayson... and everyone was breastfeeding.... we got to do weight checks weekly... and met with the lactation consultant for free... and she helped so much... Lori is the beast Lactation Consultant... she helped me more than she could ever know by one listening to me when I was pregnant and scared of BF not working... she was also my sister's LC through all her trials... and then when she put this group of women together... they really helped me with everything!!! They are a group of women that are strong independent... but also very like minded... they listened and gave advice... they helped when needed... they gave me mommy friends... when I was alone with this new little guy that I had no idea what to do with really!!! I am so thankful that I BF because it gave me something to have in common with these women that were all married and had planned this pregnancy... unlike me... and it was nice cause I was able to give advice on things I learned and had tried!!!

Another reason that I LOVE BF is that it made Grayson and me SO close... as a person that never thought they could be a mom... I think that BF gave me the closeness that is needed to be a parent... and I hope that it will continue to keep us close even once we are done and he grows up!!! I love knowing that he depended on me and me alone... but it also was a burden when I just wanted to sleep... and I wanted someone else to feed him... I knew that in more than one way it was JUST ME... yes I was single mommy... but I was also food... me and me alone... ha ha!!!

Also... as an added benefit... as last month was was Breast Cancer Awareness Month... yup I am delayed... as an added benefit for me... BF lowers my risk of Breast Cancer... and since I am pre-disposed to breast cancer... yup my Bunny (Grandma on my momma's side) passed away from breast cancer... I will do what I can to prevent... and since it helps to breast feed... it all works out in the end!!!

OK off my soap box...

Well Grayson has been making VERY nervous... first... he has always been ahead of the game on gross motor skills... he has hit every milestone... before time... or right on time... but talking... especially with a momma that talks as much as I do... he doesn't talk... he used to... he would say prob about 7-8 words... now nothing... he does babble... and he knows how to get his point across... but no more momma... dada... dog... nothing... he hits enough of the milestone that the pedi is not stressed... but since he was such a social little boy... and I can tell he is going into a shell at times... it does make me nervous... no we have no history of issues... no family history of autisum BUT with all the talk out there... I just don't know what else to do!!! So... we are in a waiting game now... have to wait till he is 18 months!!!

Lets see what else... Grayson is growing bigger and bigger every day... he gets beat up... well bit at school at least once a week... I would hate for him to start biting back... but at the same time I wish he would cause then maybe the biting may stop I hate having boo-boo reports!!!

Well we just passed Halloween... Grayson was a cowboy!!! I knew that I didn't really want to waste the money on an actual costume... I knew that I just hated to waste 30-40 dollars for a one night dress up... yes as he gets older I am ok with it... I don't mind spending the money... I just hate wasting the money... SO since Grayson doesn't mind wearing hats... I got a cowboy hat... then I bought some cute boots that he can wear through the winter... and helped make the outfit... then he already had a cute western shirt and some Levi jeans... and you have a cowboy... well I did forget the red handkerchief... that really helped make the costume... oh and the stick horse... he was bigger than he was... but he enjoyed that silly stick horse... so cute!!! Well Halloween my mommy group had a little party so one we could all see each other... so hard to do now that we are all back at work... and two cause the kids are really too young to go trick or treating... it gave us a reason to get them dressed up... plus it was SO cute seeing all the kids walk together to the different houses and get candy... well the other kids got candy... Grayson didn't... I am just not ready to start that yet... I know silly mommy... I let him have cake and ice cream on occasion but NOPE no candy!!! Grayson had so much fun just walking with his friends... he didn't even know he was missing any thing... ha ha!!! Then after the party we came over to mom's house and sat in the cul de sac and had a little neighborhood party that all the kids ran around in circles!!! Way too much fun!!!

Well as most people are aware the H1N1 is out there and it is not a cool thing to get... yes people are doing better with it... but since I work in a hospital I hear all the horror stories of the flu... and well we had 4 patients not have happy endings from the H1N1 flu! It makes me very nervous... I know a lot is the news going above and beyond... BUT well it is scary!!! Yes Grayson was diagnosed with the flu back in August/September some time... I can't remember now... but I still don't believe that it was the flu... I think it was a fluke that he actually tested positive... he never had the flu symptoms... he just had the high fever... then he was diagnosed with Roseola... and I think that is what the fever was all about!!! Well where I was going with all of this... There is now a vaccine... and it has only been around well not that long... not very much research has been done on it yet... now for me to get the vaccine... well no brainer... I work in the health care field and I am more than likely to be exposed to it at some point during the day... so for me to get the vaccine... no prob... which arm would you like to put it in... ha ha!!! Well the Galveston County Health Department was giving away the vaccine over the Halloween weekend... so of course I was all there... well they were giving it to children also cause they are in the high risk group... and with Grayson's other health and pulmonary issues I knew it is best if he gets the shot... but with not enough research behind it... I was very nervous!!! Luckily the medical director was a doctor I used to work with many years ago at St.John's hospital... and he reassured me that Grayson should be fine... there is no guarantee... but then again there are no guarantees in life... so in the end Grayson did get the first of 2 shots... hopefully there will be shots available in a month for his second shot... but I know that he needed the shot... so I will leave it in God's hands and pray that he keep my boy safe... and not have any of the nasty side effects!!!

Well I am pooped... I want to up-load some pics as I have SO many REALLY cute ones of my man... BUT I need to go to sleep!!!

Maybe tomorrow!!!

Good night!!! Sorry I got off on so many soap boxes... and to ramble... that is what happens when you don't post but once every few weeks... and you have so much to say...

Long Time

Well I have fallen down on my blogging duties... SO much has been going on... we have just been SO busy!!! To begin... Grayson had all of his testing at Texas Children's that tested for EVERYTHING lung related cause he was still having breathing issues... and everything came out great!!! He tested negative for a few different diseases that we really didn't think were possible but since he was not responding to the medication Dr F wanted to just check! He tested positive for a few different allergies... fingers are crossed that he will grow out of them... but only time will tell!!! Also they did immunity testing and he has a very STRONG immune system which is good... doesn't explain why he seems to get sick SO often... BUT also explain why when he gets sick he gets REALLY sick!!!

Well as I have stated before with my job I have to be on-call... it makes me very on edge cause I never know if I will get called in or not... and thus I have to stay at my mom's house! Well to this month I had to take 8 days of call and thus I tried to take them all at once which meant I was at mom's house for 10 days... I did get stuck at work last too many night... many more than I really wanted and I did get called in a few times... yet overall it was not that bad... but it did make me VERY cranky... and to top it off I was sick as a dog ALL week!!! But now my time is up so I am free for the rest of the month... then next month we only have to take 5 days... so that makes life a lot nicer... I will be done with call the first week... and then I am free for the rest of the month... so hopefully with me not being on call I will be able to update more often again!!!

Well back to the fun part about my life... Grayson...

As I said before we have been spending quite a bit of time at my mom's and with being on call it was hard to make it out to the pool cause I had to carry my silly pager so instead we spent many nights out in the back yard with the slip-n-slide and a splash pad that we bought Grayson at the end of summer sale at Target! Pics are at the bottom of the page! Grayson thought that was SO much fun he just loves playing in the water and has even more fun with the kids in the water... I liked this better than the pool cause I didn't have to put on my swim suit cause yes the water was deep enough technically to drown BUT we were right next to the pool and he was happy!!! So that is one way we spent a many of nights at mom's! Also mom bought a few months ago a blow up ball pit and of course cause it has just been taking up space I decided to get the air compressor out since I was doing a bunch of NOTHING at mom's other than wait for the silly pager I pulled out the ball pit... can we say so much fun!!! Grayson loved it cause hello there are balls in there and the kid is ALL about balls... well balls and cars! Avery loved it cause well she got to act a fool... and there were balls to throw at Aiden and all over the house... and of course Aiden loved it also! There are of course pics of the kids playing oh so well in the ball pit!

Next... a few weeks ago was the Pasadena Rodeo... this was the beginning of my call for work so I was nervous about going... plus of course a as it never fails the nasty weather came to town... but we decided to face the nasty weather and enjoy a few hours of the rodeo... it was cold and wet... but so much fun! It has been a while since I last went to the rodeo... I would say prob when I graduated high school umm 7 years ago... so it was nice going back! Plus we went to see the animals... it was Grayson's first real experience with cows and pigs and goats and what not... And the verdict... Grayson does not like smelly animals that make scary noises... so once again proves he is my kid... ha ha!!! He was ok as long as the animals were far far away... but when we got close to take some pics... the tears came and the screams started! Also as I said before it was rainy and cold and wet and gross weather... and as anyone from texas knows this mean... not a good thing for the allergies!!! So from Friday the 2nd of 8 days of call I lost my voice and got really sick! Oh the joys!!! But overall the rodeo was lots of fun... I can't wait for the Houston Rodeo... Gray will be older and I think he will enjoy it a lot more!!!

The following day was my nephew Ty's Birthday party... they had a moon walk... and the whole family was there! It has been since January at a family member's funeral that I last saw most of them so it was GREAT getting to see everyone! Grayson was of course on his best behavior into EVERYTHING... but really stayed away from the moon walk... he would try to get in a few times... but since most of the time there were older, rougher kids in there... when it would clear out I didn't want to put Gray in there for fear of not getting him to come out when the big kids would go back in! Well at any birthday party there was cake and of course Grayson enjoyed the cake... he loves him some cake! And at the end after a costume change... and most of the kids had left... I finally put Grayson in the moon walk... he liked it... but couldn't figure out what to do! So of course Mommy came to the rescue... and my big butt got in... and bounced with the silly kid... and of course Avery then had to come over and jump with us... and then another really cute little girl came over and jumped with us... so my big butt that is WAY out of shape... is trying to jump with 3 little kids in a moon walk! So much fun!

The next week of call went as above... we ran the streets played lots and spent family time together!

We have been SO busy... and Grayson is just getting more active by the day! He is into everything! Happy as can be... only is becoming more like his momma... and is so graceful... he falls or trips and has numerous bangs and bruises... he is just like his momma! Oh well it is getting late... there is more to talk about... and share... but it will have to wait... many more pics to come... and stories... just too tired tonight!

Grayson eating like a big boy!!!

Well Grayson is getting SO big! We have been working on his eating skills and some days he does REALLY well other days he is a little on the LAZY side! Tonights dinner was beef ravioli, green beans, water mellon, and yogurt! I normally just dump all his food on his tray and let him go to town and when we are home it is not that big of a deal cause we are home and he has a tray to eat off of! Well when we go out to eat there is typically not a tray so I have to lay the food on the table... kinda gross if you ask me... do you know how dirty resturant tables are... yes they wipe them down... but it is with a towel that they put in a bucket that they fill with minimal cleaner at the beginning of the day! Ya so lots of germs... I have tried to do placemats... the thin plastic ones... he just pulls right up... I did get one that has a little catch tray that works pretty well... but when he gets bored or is done he starts to pull and try to make a HUGE mess!!! Well you ask... why no use a plate... cause like the tray... he does fine when he is eating but as soon as the boy is done or bored... he is not getting full attention... there goes the plate faster than you can react!!! SO we have been stuck to using the dirty nasty table that yes I typically wipe down prior to his food with a few baby wipes... but what is there to do! Well over the last few weeks I have been working on using a plate or bowl just to introduce it while we are home... and I can't be embarrased when he drops a whole bowl of mac and cheese or green beans on the ground cause well the dog normally eats it before I even have time to go get the broom and mop! We also have been working on our silverware skills! No he is not perfect at it and still uses his hands to eat... but it makes him feel like a big boy when he gets the food on the fork or spoon and then he actually gets it into his mouth! Well here are just a few pics from tonight! Him with his HUGE grin! He sees the camera... and can't help but grin at it! Such a little brat... but I do love him!!! I do have pics of him actually getting the food into his mouth but for some reason blogger really doesn't want to load those pics... oh well!!! The last pic is of him after he took a big bite and the face he makes is just priceless!!!

Also... I think we may be turning the page on Grayson doing things in public! For the kid that LOVES to show off and is just the cutest thing ever and love to smile and chat with people... he does NOT perform on command! It was said that he was delayed by his daycare cause he didn't know how to wave... and some other things... but well he will not do it on demand... he is not a push monkey! Well I was a little worried cause he was SO social and at the same time he was not! He never met someone he really didn't like and was always all smiles... so the reasoning behind social! Well up till a few months ago he really didn't say ANY words... he would babble and I would guess you could say that he somethings but I never could make out any! He slowly has started to say more words but still would not really say anything in public! But he is slowly working into more words in front of people! Well over the weeks that we started at his new school I have tried to get him to wave bye... and well he is just not interested! I mean I see babies younger than him at the store that you wave at them they wave back and and say hi... well not my kid! Well we have now been working at giving hi-fives as a good bye gesture! And it seems to be working! Well this weekend every time I said bye to someone he would wave and blow a kiss... how great is that... and the person that we were saying bye to actually saw this!!! Woo hoo!!! Also... my great kid... when he would do something good that you normally would give a hi-five for... in congrats... Grayson has been going and picking up my hand and then hi-fiving it! It is SO cute! The kids is SO smart! He also is signing so much! I can't believe that it is clicking and he can communicate so much better! Yes sometimes he is still in melt down mode... and I try to get him away from the problem and get him to tell me what he wants... or I try to speak and sign everything that we know so that hopefully he will start signing or telling me what is wrong before he is in melt down mode but it doesn't always work! But at least we are taking steps in the right direction!

My boy and sign language!!!

Grayson is now 14 months old... such a big boy! I am just in awe of how much he has changed in the last 14 months it is truly amazing!!! He teaches me every day! First let me say I am now spending my days trying to act more like him... cause no matter what is going on... how he feels and how much he may or may not want to do something he is almost always happy... yes he has his meltdowns and temper tantrums but no matter how sick he may be he will smile the biggest smile that will just melt your heart! Well I have been having some rough times at work and really not liking where I was at and the people that I had to work with and was ready to hide in a hole! But after being off for 8 days and being able to spend a lot of quality time with my main little dude it reminded me that work is a means to an end I may not like it but the more miserable that I am the worse the day is and the longer it turns out to be! Well when I came back nothing had changed people where still rude and hard to work with but I decided I no longer wanted to be that person... I wanted to have a smile on my face work and do whatever was asked of me... and when the day is over I am done till the next day and just look forward to my days off that I can spend with the little guy! Well I can tell you I do not resent this place near as much, I am not coming out of here just steaming, and it is actually not the worst part of my day! No nothing changed in my work environment EXCEPT my attitude and I can say that coming in with a smile on my face and doing my job no matter how hard I have to work... I think my days are much smoother! So I am now coming to work with my head held high with a smile on my face making small talk with people I don't like too much and watching the clock on the wall till the end of the day! Lets see how long it can last!!! Ha ha!!!

Well on the Grayson front... this past weekend we spent the weekend at home doing a whole lot of nothing!!! We didn't leave the house till 4 pm on Sunday and that was only cause we were almost out of diapers and wipes!!! Well on Friday night he kept doing stuff with his hands and I just could not figure out what he was doing I thought he was just acting a fool! Then the smart kid brings me his bowl and the fruit puffs and does the hand gesture to me again... and the light bulb went off... duh he is saying more... so I do the sign of eat... and he does it back of eat more... it was hillarious! Well after I gave him the puffs I say thank you to him and what does he do back... thank you mom... what a smart kid I tell you! Well Saturday I watch him a little closer and what do you know he signs... please... thank you.. mom... done... eat... more... water... milk... no... yes... and night! How awesome is that! I have been working on this from the beginning and he started with milk at 6 months... and I let it slide a little after reading in a parents magazine that if you teach a kid to sign they may be delayed in their language skills... but a few months back I picked it up again cause they were working more on them at school... well I guess everything started to click so he is now signing a few things! No he can't have a conversation with anyone but it is a start! Also, he will give a high-five... the cutest thing ever! My kid is not an actor... he will not do ANYTHING on cue... if you want him to wave hi or bye... nope won't do it... if you want to show off how he can walk he will crawl... so we started this whole high-five thing last week... he was waving his hand.. I thought it would be fun to teach him how to give a high-five... so I did it over and over again... well yesterday at school was the first chance we had to show off... I figured him to do his normal of rebelling and not doing anything other than a huge grin... NOPE he actually gave a high-five to 2 different teachers... yay... he is finally doing something on command!!! I am SO proud!!!

The Flu

Well Wednesday I picked Grayson up from school and he wasn't quite acting like himself, but he missed his normal afternoon nap so I just thought that is what was wrong! Well I had a farewell party for an old co-worker of mine and I was hosting it so I needed to be there! Once we were there he was pretty good a little on the clingy side and a fussy man but not too bad till my food came and he wanted me to hold him and was completely Mr Anti-Social! He would not chat with ANYONE at the party and was just a fussy boy! Well he started to feel warm but the resturant was a little hot so I didn't think much about it! Well then we were off to my best friends birthday dinner! He slept for about 30 minutes in the car so I figured he would be better behaved, well he was even fussier and I KNEW he was running a fever! SO we chatted for a little while with my girlfriend but then called it a night! That night he was up and down for most of the night running a temp! Well, I ended up calling into work to stay home with him and by lunch he was back to his normal self! He ate a good lunch and was a happy little boy that played and was SO much fun to spend the day with! Well after dinner he started to fuss a little but he ate really good and was happy to stay in his chair long enough that I could eat and clean up! Well when I picked him up he was HOT as a firecracker! SO up we went to a cold shower that he screamed all the way through! Well once he was out of the bath he was asleep before I could even get him dressed! SO back to bed he went! This was at 830pm! Well at 1030 he was due for more meds so I went to check on him and he was hot as hot can be! When I checked his temp he was running 104.5 F! Worried oh yes I was!!! So onto talking to a nurse that I am friends with to see if I needed to take him into the ER (he used to work in the ER) and another friend that is a pedi... got both of their opinions and decided to keep him drugged and if he continued with the fever by morning we would go to the hospital! Well by 430 am he was down to 101 F so I considered that good enough to wait till the pediatrician opened! Well once we got to see the doctor who is not one of our normal 3 docs... they did a CBC blood work-up and a Flu test! She was a little nervous of menigitis(however you spell is) cause ever since his super high fever his balance was ALL off and has been having trouble walking... or the flu! Well the test results take 20 minutes to come back... and we have a winner!!! He has a VERY weak positive flu test! Right now the popular flu strain everyone has is the Swine Flu! SO we are now on drugs, and resting! I am hoping not to get it myself! I don't have ANY idea what I will do with Grayson if I did! SO we are under house arrest! No visitors... no going out and seeing what is going on!!! Just catching up on my DVR and spending some good time with my main man!!!

Have a GREAT weekend!!!

My boy

Well the last 5 days have been some of the longest we have had in a while... because of work and being on-call in case someone had a heart attack I have been staying at my mom's house which isn't all bad, the problem... me and Grayson don't sleep very well! We have been over there since last Friday and tonight is our first night home for 5 days till I go back on call! It was not all bad though... this weekend we actually really enjoyed ourselves! First we cooked all weekend which is always nice! Friday night sister and her whole crew came over to mom's house and we ate and played Wii! We love family Wii night! What is the best part... my 3 year old niece beat all of us in Mario Party! Saturday we went to a few garage sales... then came home to try to start going through ALL the toys at Noonie's house that the kids own! Let me tell you these kids have WAY too many toys! The WHOLE living room was full!!! We tried to finish this in a day, but it was a bit too much!!! That night my bro-n-law came over with my niece and nephew and we cooked again and pulled out the slip-n-slide along with the new little splash pool my mom bought Grayson at Target last week! We were a bit nervous it would only be good for this season and since summer is almost over... ha ha... we didn't know but all 3 kids from Grayson at 13 months all the way to Aiden at 8 had a blast in it! I will try to post pics later... I took them with my mom's camera and have not up-loaded to my camera! Sunday we finished the toys and the kids came back over and played in the slash zones! But overall all was quiet in STEMI (heart attack) Land!!! Well I stayed over there Monday cause it made more sense cause I was back on-call on Tuesday! Well like I said last night I was back on-call... all was well up until midnight or a little after... and beep beep beep... pager went off!!! Of course I had not planned this and I forgot to set up the baby monitor... pull out scrubs... or be ready in general! So when the pager went off I woke mom up... pulled out scrubs and got dressed and left! 2 hours later I was home... but of course Grayson can sense me leaving and had woken up shortly after I left so my mom had him in bed with her! I went in and picked him up fully expecting him to want to eat, but I out him down in bed and he slept till 8am this morning! And what a mood he woke up in... he woke up in a GREAT mood! He was talking to himself and in a sing song voice was saying "momma up" now isn't that a GREAT way to wake up on a day off! So no matter with having been rushed out of sleep and having a hard time going back to sleep after cause well... your adrenaline is RUSHING cause you are in such a rush... you can't help but to get WIDE awake!!!

All I can say is that EVERY day Grayson really does amaze me! I love him more and more! He finds new things to do daily and is always SO happy! Even when he doesn't feel good or is sleepy! So I can't help but LOVE and be AMAZED by the goofy kid!!!

Vent...

BLAH!!!!!!! OK... what I am going to get into... I know is silly... but I just get SO frustrated!!! I have Grayson in a daycare that is nice... I pay a lot of good money to have him there and over all I am satisfied! They take GREAT care of Grayson the whole time they have him... EVERY teacher just LOVES Grayson! Every person that I see at the school tells me what a happy and smart child I have and that just reinforces the fact that I must be doing SOMETHING right! It makes me smile every time! Onto my vent! Well I switched him to a sister daycare (owned by the same people as his last daycare, but is under a different director and it is where my sister's kids have gone off and on) in July! I have been trying to be patient and things are working themself out! BUT Grayson is only 13 months and they have him only taking ONE nap a day! At home he will take two 3-4 hour naps a day and at school he will only take one at most 2 hour nap! He comes home and is sleepy, if he doesn't take a nap in the car then he WON'T eat dinner! Also, as I stated before I am still breastfeeding Grayson! I had not really planned on continuing past a year, but it works for us and since I still have a stash in the freezer I figure why not continue! Well every day I get his daily report of what he is doing AND it is only half filled out, and the teacher that I pick him up from doesn't know what the teacher prior did! I guess this comes from working in a health care field that you MUST give a handoff report before leaving and at daycare one teacher comes in and doesn't tell the next teacher what is going on with the kids! Well after almost 2 months I finally talked to the director, I tried to act normal and that it is not that big a deal and I know NO ONE can care for my child the way that I would and I won't be happy no matter what! My mom pointed out the fact that no matter what is given to me I am NEVER satisfied... which is somewhat true... but I have expectations and sometimes I don't feel they are met! Like the day I brought this to the attention of the director was after I spoke to his afternoon teacher for the 4th time of watching her throw out 5 oz of my breast milk that he didn't drink! Well I brought up the fact that I NEVER know how much he drinks and if I am sending too much or too little! Also, they had he drank a whole cup of juice, if he is not drinking his milk he doesn't need juice for one and 2 Grayson doesn't get juice! I know as he gets older he will drink juice it is just that right now I don't think he needs it! Well It turned out that since the teachers do not communicate the afternoon teacher didn't know that Grayson drake a WHOLE bottle at 145pm so at 3pm when they tried to give him his next "scheduled" bottle of course he didn't want it! And thus the afternoon teacher that I really do like threw it down the drain! Well I told the director I wanted them to talk so that they knew when Grayson was getting his bottles cause this seems to be a BIG issue! I also had requested that Grayson get baby food for the morning and afternoon snack instead of the silly carbohydrate enriched crap they give all the other kids! Well this happened a few times but they said that the class he is in they don't do that, either the kid gets the menu food or not! Well at his other school Grayson was in the mid-classroom, it was between babies and toddlers! This is like they throw the kids from babies to toddlers and I guess it is me that is NOT ready for Grayson to grow up! So when I have him I feed him his breakfast of yogurt, waffle or whatever and then with every meal I feed him then give him a jar or 2 of babyfood! this is my decision and I will continue this till he is eating a little more but since he stopped gaining weight a few months back when he get really sick I think this is what is best for us!

So this was my vent... I know that he is safe and happy and I REALLY hope they will change and start talking to each other in the classrooms!

This has been a busy week for Grayson medically, we went back to the pulmonary doctor on Thursday and they are starting him now on singular and starting the 5 days of oral steroids to hopefully knock this cough out! Grayson is also scheduled for a few tests in September, one is a sweat test that they wrap Grayson in plastic wrap and have him sweat for a few hours then test his sweat! This is to test Cystic Fibrosis, which is a lung disease! The doctor REALLY doesn't feel this is our issue BUT wants to rule it out! Also while we get this test he will have blood drawn and they will do some genetic tests AND test for allergies!

Today Grayson went and got his 12 month shots, he was a CHAMP! He got 6 or 7 shots... it was A LOT! I felt horrible!!!He cried and cried and was in SO much pain BUT I know that it is the best for him! Also, Grayson got his flu shot today! I hope it doesn't really effect him! The pulmonary doctor STRONGLY encouraged Gray getting the flu shot, but it was 2 separate shots... yuck! I REALLY hated it, but I know that it is what is best for him!

Well it is time for me to get my little man! We are off to spend the weekend at Noonie's house cause I'm on-call for work... please people don't have a heart attack in Clear Lake... I really don't want to be called into work! I am stressed enough!

Sorry no pics... we have not been that into the camera this week!

13 months... getting bigger and better by the day!

This was me and Grayson when he was just 10 days old.. the first time with the monster trucks!!!

This was a race car that we saw on the side of the road in front of NTW... so of course we had to stop!!!

Me and Grayson... he was not THAT interested in pics!!!

Grayson in the Monster Truck... BigFoot's tire....

The show... that Big Foot did!!! It was pretty cool!!!

And the finished product... lots of smashed up cars!!!

Bow down to Prince Grayson!!!

Digging for gold!!!

Grayson picked a winner!!!

All 3 kids at the golf Game... Grayson helping Aiden out... ha ha ha!!!

Well the last post I wrote at work the other day... but couldn't get the pics to load so while Grayson takes his afternoon nap... kinda late... I am gonna try to update some and put up some random pics...

Well to begin two weekends ago Grayson's daycare had a small school carnival that we went to for a little while... Grayson played a little golf... the kid will SO be into sports... he held the club pretty good and made a hole in one... I was impressed... this game was in his classroom so we visited with his AWESOME teacher! I have to say my kid is such an awesome kid! Everywhere I have EVER taken him school wise he is always SO excellent! I always have the teachers telling me how friendly he is and how they wish all the kids would be like him! So we visited with his teacher for a little while then he ate 2 hotdogs... I know the kid is a PIG!!! Then we went to the lollipop tree and if you pulled out a sucker with a black dot on the end you won... both the cousins pulled out duds... but wouldn't you know my kid pulled 2 winners... no he didn't get to enjoy the suckers... but he did get to play... then he went and dug for gold... and we decided to go to the local Firestone auto place! As I was making our way over to Grayson's school I saw at the Firestone a monster truck and a race car... so as a treat Nonnie met me and the other family and we all went up to see the monster truck! We were amazed when we got there and Big Foot was doing a little show and smashing up cars... it was Great! What is even cooler is last summer Aiden's boy scout troop won monster trucks so when Grayson was 10 days old I have NUMEROUS pics of him with the monster trucks and the drivers which is so awesome... and then a year later we just happened upon another monster truck that was not at the one last year! I am amazed to compare how much bigger he is and what he can do... last year I had to hold him... this year he sat in the wheel... amazing!!!

Then we drove to the NTW and took a few pics with the race car and then we called it a day!

We have been SO busy lately it is nice... but also crazy! Grayson is SO active and I love it... it is SO nice that he walks... but also bad cause he throws temper tantrums all the time! and when I tell him no he will have a TT and scream and throw himself on the floor and not move! It is great! He is still eating like a champ... not as well or as much as he was prior... BUT I think a lot has to do with his new school! They have him in the step up class than what he was in at the old school and they only do one nap and they will not give baby food or yogurt! SO he is not eating as much as before... but he is still eating a lot!

On a side note... I just want to say... Grayson is 13 months and still breast feeding... I am SO proud! He is my little champ! We have dropped his feedings if we are out and about... he gets distracted way too easily... but morning and night... nap time and if we are home... a few times during the day! I am SO excited I was able to make it a year I think it is one of the things I am the most proud of! It can be VERY hard but at the same time Grayson and I are SO close and I know it is what is best for the little guy! I LOVE him SO much!

Also, I love to baby wear! For anyone that is nervous... they are crazy... it gives you 2 hands... can be done from the time they are born (if you do it right) and make you so much closer to your child! I started with a simple sling I borrowed from my sister that never fit really well and I made a fake moby wrap! Then a fellow mom from a group I joined had the baby hawk... it was SO cute! It was expensive but I got SO much use out of it... it became my quick favorite! I started wearing him in the baby hawk when I got it when he was about 4-5 weeks old... and I have worn him in it the most! I put it on the back burner a few month ago when Grayson started to ride in his push car or stroller more and I didn't really have to carry him much! Well this weekend it came in handy! We had to part a little away from the stadium for the baseball game and I put him on my back and put the hawk behind him for extra support so my hands were free my back didn't hurt and it was not too bad having to carry the big boy a distance! Then on the way out of the stadium I put him back on the front of me so he could snuggle and settle to go to sleep! I forgot how much I missed wearing him!!! Then on Sunday I didn't have my BH so I found my sling that I have not worn in a few months cause I thought he is just too big... even though I know kids can ride in the in different holds till they are 35 lbs... I go into denial at times! Well I went to Target and Grayson had just fallen asleep and I hated to wake him but I can't hold him without him waking up... well I put the sling on and put him in it... and wouldn't you know that Grayson slept for an hour and a half while I walked around there then into the shoe store next to Target! I forgot how much I missed Baby wearing... but now that I started again... I do still love it even with my big boy... and I think I may start it up again!!!

Well my boy is awake again... guess it is time to make dinner... and play so we can go to bed... off to the pulmonologist tomorrow to check the meds... then to the pedi on friday to get his 12 month shots... just a few weeks late... but we had to wait cause he was on steriods at 12 months... hopefully he won't be sick this weekend from the shots!!! But I figured I have 3 days off... I should take advantage of them and have his shots done!