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First life is more crazy by the minute... we have been going 100 miles an hour... with little end in site at times!!! First Grayson has had an on and off again cold the last few weeks... I know what's new on that... well nothing... it just calls for some long nights... and lots of snuggling!!!
Well as before... we are back on call for work... not as bad as last month when it was 9 days... this time it is only 5 days... but once again... Grayson is sick... I swear the kid doesn't want me to be on-call... every time he ends up sick I swear!!! I am hoping that tonight is gonna be a better night... so fingers crossed... momma is pretty pooped waking up at 130 and working all day... and then back on-call for the night... blah... but so far he has been able to keep everything down for the day... so here is to hoping!!!
Well after 15 months... and lots of heart ache... today was a big step for us... Grayson had his last bottle of breast milk... my freezer stash is officially gone!!! I am SO sad...I mean Grayson still nurses when we are at home... and at times I wonder how much longer... I just don't know if he is still getting enough from me... but he enjoys it so much and when I do tell him no... he gets very angry... so looks like we still have a while on breast feeding... but at school he gets 2 glasses of soy milk (thank you lactose intollerance)... and when he is home he nurses!!! I am sad that today was his last bottle... but also excited cause he is getting older and more independent!!! I am SO glad that we were able to make it this long... I knew it was something that I wanted desperately to do... and from the time that we started... I was nervous and scared that it wouldn't work... and I knew I wanted to make it a year... and when I went back to work it was VERY hard... and then when I was told I had to quit pumping after 3 months back at work it was the hardest task I have ever succeed at... that one I was able to keep my supply up enough to feed my child and was lucky enough to have a great start of a stash that when things started to get hard and I stopped pumping at 8 months... cause I just didn't have the time or energy... I knew that it was in God's control! I was lucky that my mom was very hard headed when the hurricane hit and I almost lost my huge freezer full of milk that she was willing to go and wait 2 hrs for a generator... just to save my milk!!! Now when we had a power outage and the freezer was tripped and I lost a good 500 oz of milk right after I had decided to quit pumping... I was heart broken... but decided that what was meant to be would be and I knew that I would continue to breast feed as long as possible and if needed I did still have my pump so I could always go back to pumping if needed to make it to the first year...but well as I said before... we made it 15 months... almost 16 months... so I think we have done well!!!
I know I have said before and I will say it over and over again... and sorry that I am SO off what I started this post for... but I will just be on this soap box a little while longer...
Breast feeding was something that everyone says come naturally... and is the best thing for a child... and for the mother!!! Well after seeing my sister struggle with both of her kids to try to breast feed... I knew it was something that I wanted to do... and I was going to do everything possible... but if it didn't work then I knew formula was always an option... and kids still grow big and strong and smart as can be on it!!! I went to every class possible to learn to breast feed... I met with the lactation consultant 3 times while in the hospital and Grayson in the NICU... I went to the local La Leche League meeting the following week and got a lot of really useful information from those ladies... and I ended up joining a new mommy group... that was women that had kids within 2 months or so of Grayson... and everyone was breastfeeding.... we got to do weight checks weekly... and met with the lactation consultant for free... and she helped so much... Lori is the beast Lactation Consultant... she helped me more than she could ever know by one listening to me when I was pregnant and scared of BF not working... she was also my sister's LC through all her trials... and then when she put this group of women together... they really helped me with everything!!! They are a group of women that are strong independent... but also very like minded... they listened and gave advice... they helped when needed... they gave me mommy friends... when I was alone with this new little guy that I had no idea what to do with really!!! I am so thankful that I BF because it gave me something to have in common with these women that were all married and had planned this pregnancy... unlike me... and it was nice cause I was able to give advice on things I learned and had tried!!!
Another reason that I LOVE BF is that it made Grayson and me SO close... as a person that never thought they could be a mom... I think that BF gave me the closeness that is needed to be a parent... and I hope that it will continue to keep us close even once we are done and he grows up!!! I love knowing that he depended on me and me alone... but it also was a burden when I just wanted to sleep... and I wanted someone else to feed him... I knew that in more than one way it was JUST ME... yes I was single mommy... but I was also food... me and me alone... ha ha!!!
Also... as an added benefit... as last month was was Breast Cancer Awareness Month... yup I am delayed... as an added benefit for me... BF lowers my risk of Breast Cancer... and since I am pre-disposed to breast cancer... yup my Bunny (Grandma on my momma's side) passed away from breast cancer... I will do what I can to prevent... and since it helps to breast feed... it all works out in the end!!!
OK off my soap box...
Well Grayson has been making VERY nervous... first... he has always been ahead of the game on gross motor skills... he has hit every milestone... before time... or right on time... but talking... especially with a momma that talks as much as I do... he doesn't talk... he used to... he would say prob about 7-8 words... now nothing... he does babble... and he knows how to get his point across... but no more momma... dada... dog... nothing... he hits enough of the milestone that the pedi is not stressed... but since he was such a social little boy... and I can tell he is going into a shell at times... it does make me nervous... no we have no history of issues... no family history of autisum BUT with all the talk out there... I just don't know what else to do!!! So... we are in a waiting game now... have to wait till he is 18 months!!!
Lets see what else... Grayson is growing bigger and bigger every day... he gets beat up... well bit at school at least once a week... I would hate for him to start biting back... but at the same time I wish he would cause then maybe the biting may stop I hate having boo-boo reports!!!
Well we just passed Halloween... Grayson was a cowboy!!! I knew that I didn't really want to waste the money on an actual costume... I knew that I just hated to waste 30-40 dollars for a one night dress up... yes as he gets older I am ok with it... I don't mind spending the money... I just hate wasting the money... SO since Grayson doesn't mind wearing hats... I got a cowboy hat... then I bought some cute boots that he can wear through the winter... and helped make the outfit... then he already had a cute western shirt and some Levi jeans... and you have a cowboy... well I did forget the red handkerchief... that really helped make the costume... oh and the stick horse... he was bigger than he was... but he enjoyed that silly stick horse... so cute!!! Well Halloween my mommy group had a little party so one we could all see each other... so hard to do now that we are all back at work... and two cause the kids are really too young to go trick or treating... it gave us a reason to get them dressed up... plus it was SO cute seeing all the kids walk together to the different houses and get candy... well the other kids got candy... Grayson didn't... I am just not ready to start that yet... I know silly mommy... I let him have cake and ice cream on occasion but NOPE no candy!!! Grayson had so much fun just walking with his friends... he didn't even know he was missing any thing... ha ha!!! Then after the party we came over to mom's house and sat in the cul de sac and had a little neighborhood party that all the kids ran around in circles!!! Way too much fun!!!
Well as most people are aware the H1N1 is out there and it is not a cool thing to get... yes people are doing better with it... but since I work in a hospital I hear all the horror stories of the flu... and well we had 4 patients not have happy endings from the H1N1 flu! It makes me very nervous... I know a lot is the news going above and beyond... BUT well it is scary!!! Yes Grayson was diagnosed with the flu back in August/September some time... I can't remember now... but I still don't believe that it was the flu... I think it was a fluke that he actually tested positive... he never had the flu symptoms... he just had the high fever... then he was diagnosed with Roseola... and I think that is what the fever was all about!!! Well where I was going with all of this... There is now a vaccine... and it has only been around well not that long... not very much research has been done on it yet... now for me to get the vaccine... well no brainer... I work in the health care field and I am more than likely to be exposed to it at some point during the day... so for me to get the vaccine... no prob... which arm would you like to put it in... ha ha!!! Well the Galveston County Health Department was giving away the vaccine over the Halloween weekend... so of course I was all there... well they were giving it to children also cause they are in the high risk group... and with Grayson's other health and pulmonary issues I knew it is best if he gets the shot... but with not enough research behind it... I was very nervous!!! Luckily the medical director was a doctor I used to work with many years ago at St.John's hospital... and he reassured me that Grayson should be fine... there is no guarantee... but then again there are no guarantees in life... so in the end Grayson did get the first of 2 shots... hopefully there will be shots available in a month for his second shot... but I know that he needed the shot... so I will leave it in God's hands and pray that he keep my boy safe... and not have any of the nasty side effects!!!
Well I am pooped... I want to up-load some pics as I have SO many REALLY cute ones of my man... BUT I need to go to sleep!!!
Maybe tomorrow!!!
Good night!!! Sorry I got off on so many soap boxes... and to ramble... that is what happens when you don't post but once every few weeks... and you have so much to say...
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